Rain and belly laughs

This morning I was walking up to the front door to say goodbye to the kids and I could smell the rain in the air.  It was cool and crisp outside and it had just rained.  It was almost a clean smell, not like in the summer time when it is so muggy outside you can't enjoy the smell.  I lived in California for several years and I didn't even realize I had missed that smell until we were driving back across the country and it was getting ready to rain in one of the states we were driving through.  That to me is just a wonderful smell. There are some things that remind me of my childhood and the smell of rain is one of them.  The other is having my windows open and having the fresh air come in, the breeze it brings with it.  Now living in Tallahasee you don't have the smell of the salt air like in Panama City Beach but the freshness of the air is the same.  It reminds me of when I had finally gotten my room clean (not very often this happened) and I would lay on my day bed with the window open and feel the breeze come in while I was reading.  Somehow that always made me feel content.  Odd how some things stick out and others just fade away. 

Today Connor laughed his first real big belly laugh!!  I was tickling his sides and under his arms like I do quite frequently and he just started giggling, then squealing, and then it came out like a bubbling brook, just little rolls of laughter.  He was laughing and I was laughing.  It was the cutest thing I have ever heard.  I am hoping I can get it on video or recorded somehow.  There are always those little things that your kids do that you want to remember, the things they say, or the way they look when they do a particular thing and you think that is something you could never forget.  Then life happens and 14 years later you look back and try to remember what some of the things were, it is why I want to cherish every moment with Connor, he helps me to remember the little things with Beau and Kyrsten too. 

Beau saw me yesterday writing a note on a napkin to put in Kyrsten's lunchbox for school and he said "hey I remember when you used to do that for me when we were in North Carolina".  I miss him being little and being able to play with him.  We used to go outside with the soccer ball and kick it around together.  I also used to go to Cub Scouts with him.  I wonder what happened to where I stopped doing all of those things with him.  Maybe it has something to do with the support system I had up there.  All the military wives stuck together and we did things with each other.  The military husbands would also help out the ladies whose husbands were away.  It was like an extended family of sorts.  I still don't know most of my neighbors here!  There are somethings I miss about being on a military base like the shopping and the instant friends you have!!  Seems like another lifetime now and other times it feels like yesterday.  Somehow I need to find the person I was when I moved down here, I was confident, more outgoing and willing to do anything and go anywhere for my kids.  I need to push beyond everything else going on and be willing to do for them like I used to.  They were much happier when I used to do that!  Sounds like I have some work to do!!