I know it isn't every day we think about the person we are married to.  I don't mean thinking about calling them to talk about the kids or finances, I mean really think about how lucky you are.  Yeah I know my husband can do things that bother me and I am sure I do things that really bother him too.  I know if I were hurt or in need of something he would be the first one to make sure I had what I needed.  Just the other day I had started running again.  I ran too much and my shins were killing me.  I told him it was likely because my shoes were old and I needed a different kind of shoe.  He immediately told me to go out and get new ones!   I mean, it is not like we could really afford to spend the money but he wanted me to keep running and to not hurt myself.  I think the reason I am thinking about this is that I spoke with my sister yesterday.  She fell and needed to go to the doctor and her husband wouldn't take her.  I know if that had been me my husband would have dropped everything and taken me directly in.  Sometimes he gets over involved with school, or work, or stuff on the computer but if I come to him and say directly, I need your help he will help, maybe reluctantly sometimes : )  but he will help anyway. I have to say that I know my Hughie loves me dearly and I should feel lucky that I have him.  I should not always concentrate on the negative like I have the tendency to do and focus more on why we got married in the first place.  I should focus on why we fell in love when we were younger and what made me want to find him again.  I know that we have had our problems but I know in the end when it comes right down to it, my husband loves me!!  I wish that for my sister.  I hope that one day she wakes up and sees how wonderful she is and how much she has to offer.....some OTHER man!!!!

Home made bread

The past week I have been making homemade bread.  I found a wonderful recipe on the internet for Amish White Bread.  Up until now the only bread I made was out of the bread machine. I have found that I enjoy baking bread which is really shocking to me!  I like the way it makes the house smell and I like the way it looks when it is rising too!  The kids LOVE my bread and I feel like I am doing something good for them. 

Tonight I took my favorite bread recipe and made hamburger buns out of it.  I modified the rise time a little but they were the best, most amazing hamburger buns I have ever tasted.  We were planning on making hamburgers next week.  About three or four bites of the homemade bun and my loving husband asked with his mouth full, "You are going to make these when we have hamburgers, right?"  I am extremely happy that I can do something like making bread that makes them all happy and satisfied.  Tomorrow I am going to make banana muffins and pineapple muffins for breakfast for the week!!  They were a big hit last time I made them. 

I know life gets crazy, with three children, two step children and two ex spouses between the two of us. I am surprised it isn't crazier that it is.  Being able to sit down and eat dinner together has been really nice.  Although the kids don't talk a whole lot at least we are all unplugged from all electronics and sitting at the same table together!  Maybe the talking part will evolve.  Hughie and I talk some and I am hoping the kids will join in soon.

I am beginning to find myself again I think, not that I was lost mind you, just missing for a while.  : ) Between starting to run again, two miles a day for several days now, doing my baking like I used to, and spending  more time with the children,  I think I am on my way to being myself again.  I sort of lost myself after I moved down from North Carolina.  After my marriage falling apart I floundered around and did good at maintaining my individuality.  Then I moved back in with Hughie.  I tried to adapt myself to my new surroundings and be who I thought Hughie wanted me to be.  I have found that does not work.  I have to be me.  I am working on finding that person again and I think I am almost there!! Yay for me!!  Now just continuing with the momentum.  I have to make sure I continue exercizing most importantly.  That is making me feel like I can do all these other things!

To run or not to run

Yesterday I decided I would start my running program again.  The last time I ran Kyrsten was the one I was pushing around in a jogging stroller.  Wow that was at least 6 years ago if not longer.  Well I am starting out slow, or so I thought.  I found a running program online and figured I would follow the program.  So I ran for 60 seconds and walked for 90 seconds for a total of 20 minutes.  I felt fine in the beginning.  Midway through I began wonder why on earth I wanted to run.  I kept telling myself that running is going to give me the body I want, the one I had when I moved down from North Carolina over 5 years ago. I made it through the first workout!!  Today I woke up and my ankles are sore, my shins are sore. I guess that is to be expected since I have not ran in years.  Tomorrow I am supposed to run again and I am wondering if my ankles and legs will feel better by then.  I do believe it was ill fitting, non supportive shoes that are cause of my woes.  I did some research today and found out that I need stabilizing shoes because I have flat feet.  So I went out and got some.  They just happened to be on sale for half off.  Yay for me!  I put them on when I got home and even though it was not my day to run I got on my trampoline and "ran" for 15 minutes.  Boy the difference the right shoes can make!  I am not saying my ankles and shins don't still hurt but with the new shoes on I am not limping from the pain.  I took them off upon arriving home this evening from running errands and realized just how much better they make my feet feel.  I wonder if my husband would mind me wearing them to bed!  : )  Better not push it!  I will go out tomorrow morning with the baby in his stroller and hit the pavement as planned.  Hopefully I can continue to run as I know it does indeed make me feel like I am doing something good for just me.

Pasta!

Yesterday I went and bought a pasta machine.  You know the manual kind...silver with a little handle that turns.  My mom had one when I was little and I remember making all kinds of pasta and hanging it on drying racks.  My husband even remembers helping to make pasta.  There was something about doing things like that with my mom that made me happy.  I want to make those kinds of memories with my kids.  Of course my teenage son was in his room on the video game the whole time but my little one was right there "helping" to make noodles.  She thought it was neat to eat them afterwards too!  We made a batch of pasta last night and had it for dinner.  It was amazing.  I don't know why we even buy the boxes.  For the ease of it I am sure.  I find that staying home with the kids I am constantly looking for ways to not only save money but also do things that are better for them.  Like rather than buying the name brand crackers with peanut butter in them I will take Ritz crackers or regular saltines and make my own peanut butter sandwiches.  And what about adding a little cocoa powder to the peanut butter for a chocolate treat?  I am also going to make homemade bread again.  Something I did a lot of last year even while being pregnant.  I even invented a muffin recipe last week!  This week I am going to try pumpkin muffins with my own recipe.  So much better for the kids to have those for breakfast than sugary cereal that is three and four dollars a box these days!  I guess I am not only trying to save money but do something better for my kids and spend more time with them doing things they will remember when they have children of their own!

Girls

A week or so ago Kyrsten came to me and said that Alyssa had put a big piece of tape across the center of the room.  She said that she is supposed to keep all her stuff on "her" side of the room and that she can't mess up "Alyssa's side".  When I was little I did the same thing.  I don't remember if it was me or my sister that took the tape and put it on the floor but I remember the tape being there.  It seems that Alyssa is a neat freak and Kyrsten is obviously not.  Kyrsten is also very creative and imaginative while Alyssa seems to be more serious and calculated.  It is interesting how different children with different personalities tend to keep even their belongings differently.  I think everyone needs their own space at a certain time in their lives.  With the girls being so different in ages I am sure it is hard for them to live in the same space together.  As Alyssa gets older she is craving the independence from Kyrsten while Kyrsten still thinks Alyssa is cool and wants to be just like her.  I know one day Alyssa will see admiration in Kyrsten but right now all she sees is aggravating and pesky.  I was the same way with my big sister when I was growing up.  Even when she got married and started having kids I still wanted to be just like Sissy when I grew up.  I wanted to be just as pretty and just as smart as her.  I wanted to have cute little babies like her too!  It is funny the things we remember when our kids are showing us what we used to look like and act like at their ages!!  Well funny might not be the right word....but to see that they are doing the same things you used to makes you feel not so old and not so silly for the things you DID do!